Maa da laadla bigad gaya??

A blog by Samyak Shah

How many of us have been on the receiving end of our mom’s taunts? Don’t we just hate it when we have to hear earful from our mothers for doing something that we liked, but unfortunately that activity didn’t align well with our mothers.

What the problem of parents is that they want to give us the freedom of living our lives as we wish, but then, we all know the side effects of unsupervised freedom and if you are in your pre-teen years, or you’re a teenager or a young adult, then you’ll know that the struggle to stay quiet and listen to their side. Moms aren’t wrong on their side because they always want us protected; the place where it exceeds is when they start to behave like a dictator around us.  

I have many female friends whose mothers don’t easily allow them to go to a guy friend’s house, and for that, mothers are capable of coming up with any gory story and absurd logic (though if we go to an extreme extent with their logic, then it seems plausible). I don’t hate the mothers who have these sort of rules imposed on their children, it’s the way the rule is being treated which is the problem. 

Whenever I call one of my female friends who fall under this category, I automatically visualize her being tied by a leash toh the staircase support or the main door (because for protecting, moms can go to any extent. Maybe that’s why choker fashion is back as it works as a great attachment for a leash).

I understand the concern that moms have, of their daughters going to a guy’s place. My mom has personally explained all the things I need to see when any of my female friends are over because one wrong step, one wrong interpretation and one miscommunication and I’m the one who’ll be getting screwed by both sets of parents alike and (in extreme cases) cops as well.

So, to ensure that no other child gets angry on their mother for scolding them and that no mother overthinks everything and not everyone falls into the category of the bad child or as I affectionately like to call it “Maa da laadla bigad gaya”, I have taken the liberty to mention a few pointers for having a safe future.

This one’s for the kids:

1. Trust your parents when they tell you that they’re saying from personal experience, because it might be a white lie, but remember: EXPERIENCE TRUMPS INTELLIGENCE

2. Parents possess a seventh sense which identifies bullshit from miles away; make sure to believe them when they tell you to stay away from someone. TRUST GOES A LONG WAY

3. Their intentions are not bad, but unfortunately, not all parents are comfortable in calling a spade a spade. What I mean is; that not all parents are comfortable enough to talk to you in a direct manner, so they use your friend’s and all your life events as a practical example to explain their point. INTENTIONS AREN’T WRONG, THE METHOD OF EXPLAINING IS

4. Your friends whom you value so much may or may not be with you in your worst time, but your parents were, are and will be. FRIEND has ‘END’, but PARENT doesn’t

5. When parents inform you about the result of being with someone or doing something, believe me, they are way ahead of you. If you are on move number 2, they’ll already be on move number 13. Parents always analyze all sorts of aspects, triggers, responses, counter-responses, future consequences, financial aid requirements etc. when they tell you to stay away from someone. IT IS NOT THAT THEY DON’T TRUST YOU, IT’S THE OTHER ASSES WHO YOUR PARENTS HAVE FIGURED OUT

This one’s for the parents:

1. Your planning is accurate and you’ve put in your personal past experiences, but with a new generation, comes a new perspective and a new way of dealing with the same situation. DON’T IMPOSE PERSPECTIVE, ATTEMPT TO ENCULCATE NEW USEFUL ONES

2. The child, who you think is stupid, is certainly not. You may have shied away from educating them, but their friends haven’t and believe me, a little bit of bad influence is not bad for them because and I quote almost every parents’ dialogue “The world isn’t going to pamper you”. So, if you’ve said it, how about you decide to implement it, because there is a popular saying that supports it: IT IS BETTER TO BE A WARRIOR IN A GARDEN, THAN TO BE A GARDENER IN A WAR.

3. Pamper the child when needed. Over or Under pampering can shape the child very badly and can cause the rise of inferiority complex and self opposing views and self contradictory personality. There is an age for experiencing everything, so hold your horses for a moment and let the child live the moment while it has a meaning because recreating a lost moment is possibly the hardest and the worst thing you can do to someone who you’ve deprived off of the right age for the right thing. RIGHT TIME, RIGHT AGE, RIGHT ACT.

4. All children are different, so if you’re scolding your child for not scoring like how your acquaintances child scored, then maybe you shouldn’t be stopping them from doing something just because some kid of the same age did it. If you realise that your child is different and you trust that he/she cannot do that, then how about you go one step ahead and let your child believe that you’re not against them for doing something, but you’re against the fact that there is possibility that something might go wrong. IT IS NOT OUR ACTION THAT IS WRONG, IT IS OUR REACTION THAT IS  

Do not forget: TRUST IS A TWO WAY STREET

If you feel that your parents don’t trust you, maybe it is because you don’t trust them. Reciprocation is important in communication, especially in a sensitive component like family in everyone’s life.