Wind

It's always forceful, strong, direction based.
It tells us whether it is time to 'up' or 'down'.

It's disgusting if it 'breaks'. 
The problem, of the people who clean the house.
The problem, when it mixes with the temperature of the area.
Ah, the wind.


- Why can't it be sensible?
- Why can't it decide a specific time for its arrival and departure?
- Why doesn't it have a speedometer so we can detect its speed and cruise control setting like cars to let us know its maximum threshold & strength?
- Why can't there be a minimum height level to it, wherein it hits only us and not the house dirt we just finished sweeping?
Ah, the wind.


Nature's way of healing.
A sign of the atmosphere's strength.
An important aspect of the desert.
An enemy of open-kept hair.
Ah, the wind.

(flawed) Rumination

- Everything boils down to "I am not a bad human being. The ones who I've caused harm, may (and they do) believe that I am, but I'm much more than those moments where I screwed up. But, now I'm forever stuck in a loop of trying to prove my innocence to the world, even though nobody doubted me, but because of those moments where I made the mistake, I feel that I need to overcompensate for it in every single waking moment of my life by making life harder than it should be, while fully knowing that this all can be ended, but only if I was able to break free from the cycle. But, because of what I've been taught, forgiving myself is not up to me when/after I've harmed someone, so now I have to sit through and wait for the person I've harmed to forgive me and allow me to move on with my life, while knowing deep down that because I've harmed them, they'd never forgive me, and hence I'm stuck here; forever". Our culture does not promote forgiveness or apologizing because it promotes constant nags, personal attacks, taunts which demotivates even the purest of souls into believing that not apologizing and finding the other person's fault is the way to go every time.

- Learning without failing has nothing to do with perfection, arrogance or stubbornness. We regret making mistakes for the hurt it causes, as we should, but only after a long time has passed, do we realize that we learned a lesson from it. Everybody is unanimously agreeing that if it was possible to learn the lessons of life without making the mistakes and causing hurt, we'd all do it in a heartbeat, but that's what we have to realize; in terms of exams, that we cannot get the result of an exam without having given it, whether we prepared for it or not and whether we did a good job or not. As ignorant and heartless this might sound to people who are a bit too reliant on emotional reactions as their go-to move for understanding things, deep down, this is a seemingly logical/methodical take on something that can have a lasting psychological impact on us.

- We humans are so hungry for control, but at the same time, we're also so scared of being judged for wanting control that we try to hide this desperation of ours that we need control because we feel that we deserve to have control over everything since in our heads, we're the ones who knows what's best for everybody in this universe, y'know? Also, the moment we have control, we know nobody can touch us, harm us our trouble us and that we can do whatever we want, to them, without being questioned about our actions, and that's precisely what we're made to think about having power:

Full Control. Zero need for accountability.