Accepted???

I, like so many people out there who potentially have everything sorted out in life, and are looking for a new problem to solve, delved into the world of questions needlessly, thinking that maybe if I created and then answered those questions, I'll find salvation.

That worked out well!

Anyhoo,

So, just like so many out there who are trying to figure themselves out, I too am one of those, despite coming across as self-aware.

Now, what usually happens when we try to figure ourselves out, is that we think of everything as a do-or-die situation; so if we fail to meet certain expectations we have from ourselves, we're already a big fuckin' failure! Is there a need for such polarity? Not really, but then again, immediately jumping to conclusions is what makes us humans, I mean, huge & fragile egos, am I right?

I looked around to see what I could get inspired by or what I could hold onto in the search of 'Maybe this can help me figure out who I am' and boy how I failed here. I constantly looked up at people I desired to be with, the things I desired to have & use, the things I desired to talk about, the places I desired to be at & enjoy their life. All in all, a kid who looked at people who (sometimes, showed as if they) had more than what he did, and I thought I'd never get to be that cool or that these people would never accept me because I don't do/have the kind of things they do. I was (and still am) wrong, but the self-fulfilling prophecy that is this insecurity and comparison, it got to me and how bad. 

To this day, I still look at these same people and still wonder if today I approached them, after all that I have achieved, will I be accepted in their group? Will they call me one of their own if they saw that I too had what it required to be a part of their group? 

Maybe it's for the best that I go (and have gone) my separate way because the way they ended up in the future (as I found out with my reality check), things were just as bad for them as they were for me, it's just that they were too concerned of their image and never got to develop the meaningful connections I did and I was happy to know that despite not being the cool kid or the impressive kid, I still managed to make a good deal out of my life. 

Yet, I still wonder at times, could it be possible for them to be jealous of me for the same reasons that I was/am jealous of them?

Human exchanges, I guess...

(if you cannot handle, understand and appreciate sarcasm, this post isn't for you)

- Your behaviour always has to be modified based on my mood without me having to tell you what I'm feeling like because I'll take your lack of awareness and you not knowing as a personal insult and I will make sure you regret your existence for having missed out impressing me this time

- You have to be transparent with me because it is not okay to hide anything from others, but please don't cry when you find out that I've hidden things from you, because if you aren't already aware, then let me tell you that this is how being an adult works in the real life

- I will express my love as and when I feel like, but you have to love me (or better yet, worship me) regardless (since I might be your backup in all cases until who knows how long) because that's what good people do! I can choose to love you or not love you when I want, but you're not supposed to have that right or choice

- You must deal with the problems that adults have, but you still have no rights whatsoever (You have to do the things that you aren't supposed to be doing alone to prove that you're all grown up, but don't you dare think that doing these things is going to earn you the freedom to be independent because I will still expect you to play by my rules even though there is no need for anyone else but me to do that)

- Of course I will cheer you up as and when I feel it's important and appropriate to, but what you have to realize is that the world population is soaring high every single day, so despite everything, please remember that you have to put your best foot forward, without the guarantee of knowing where you stand, and not to forget that you're competing with thousands of other people

- Yes, I want you to trust me enough to think and believe (I am) and I can be, your safe space to share everything you want to let out, but don't be surprised if I start to make fun of those things because that is the unsaid part of the deal where being a safe space earns me the right to make fun of you with you having no right to oppose me for having made fun of you. Don't you dare say you're offended, because I expect and command you to not get offended unless and until I tell you that it's appropriate for you to get offended

- Remember: Your success is our success, but your failure is your failure

- I get to decide on behalf of both us whether or not you should be anywhere near us for too long, but don't forget the part where you still have to be at our beck and call

- Do other people a favour without them asking, and then you act as if you're god-sent for having helped them and make sure that they know: It is rude to decline the favour/help, but also, it is equally horrible if you're not showing your gratitude to them for helping; doesn't matter whether you asked for it or not

Hypocrite, until asked...

The world’s biggest religion is capitalism:
money is our god, greed is our priest,
banks are our temples,
and shopping is how we express our worship.

The world’s biggest cartel is politics:
democracy is our god, elections are our priest,
voting booths are our temples,
and ballots are how we express our worship.

The world’s biggest idol is stardom:
celebrities are our gods, fame is our priest,
tabloids are our temples,
and applause is how we express our worship.

The world’s biggest faith is hedonism:
sex is our god, lust is our priest,
brothels are our temples,
and fornication is how we express our worship.”

― Matshona Dhliwayo

To be growing up in a world where opinions are treated as facts, no wonder why corruption prevails. I mean, think about it, if we didn’t get angry at people for being selfish, for being greedy and for expressing a lot of our other natural ‘animal-like’ instinctive emotions, wouldn’t we be better off? In the time of everybody turning into self-righteous dimwits only to bring other people down because ‘they were being distasteful’, then we have to ask ourselves the question about changing the quote from “Hate the game; not the player” to “Hate the player; not the game” and, rightly so.

Nobody is completely innocent or wicked, it’s all about balancing the act. But, the problem begins when people act selfish themselves and want other people to be selfless because “I don’t have a lot, but this X person surely does” seems like a legit move, am I right? This has got us turning our backs to our own people, questioning everything and everybody for god knows what reason. If it was limited to that it’d still have been decent, but it has escalated to an annoying point of self-righteousness wherein people want to experience and rather hoard onto everything because “I deserve it” and want other people to pay in some way or the other because “By their looks, you think they know how to use these things properly?”

We want the middle grounds to exist… but only for us, the rest of the world can be black and white so that we can label everybody and everything into separate extreme sections, while we get to have nuances because why TF not, right?

Twisted?

Having someone by you is just a fear of being alone in social situations and the fact that these morons have connected their partners with their self esteem, because then you're saying that not having a partner means the person doesn't have a good self esteem. That's just a preposterous comparison! If you feel worthy and amazing only if you have someone by your side, you really need to think about what gives you confidence and what actually should be giving you the required confidence.

A soulmate is the escapist fantasy of the insecure who need a person 24×7 for their validation. A person who they know is dependent on them because the feeling that they have control over the happiness and peace of someone else's life is oh so pleasing but because of how devilish it sounds due to its selfish nature and incorrectness, it has been romanticized into the ideation that someone somewhere out there is meant to be with you for the rest of both of your lives and is the key to all your locks (which is the farthest from the truth and the true capabilities & power of the universe and the creator of it)

This is a deep-rooted power focused fantasy of wanting an owner statured person to be your servant, because the world should know that they hold no power whatsoever in front of their partners because we're rarely ever happy with who the person is unless they're able to serve us...

Living a lie

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." - Fight Club

Let us stop pretending that we know what's going on, alright?

I mean, I get it that 'knowing' or 'making it seem that you know' is the real deal and that you impress a lot of people by saying that you know what is going on in your life and that you know where your life is going, but we really don't have a clue about it, do we? To a certain extent, yes, but after that, we're just using our imagination and creating scenes that we like, where we're the hero that saves the day for a lot of people.

What a load of bullshit that is!

Truth be told, we're all just sailing through life, making choices at every turn, just secretly hoping that the choices we made do not end in us getting our asses kicked and we'll be fine. There are choices to be made at every waking second and our life is just a pile of choice of choice that has resulted in who we are right now.

Feel existential yet? (Whatever you think your answer is, is again, your choice)

It is uncool, y'know to say things like:

"I don't know" because "How could you not know this? A baby would know this!"

"I am wrong" because "Well, aren't you always?"

"I am sorry" because "That does not undo this shit now, does it?"


I'm here to tell every one of you who's reading this:
No one has ever died by admitting their ignorance of something. 

Quit holding onto an idea of something just because you think you'll have to stick with one single opinion/thought/ideation forever or else people will start calling you a traitor who can't decide what they agree with... Stop living in the binary world where not siding with one thing automatically means siding with the other... The 'Gray' area is not understandable for everybody, get it?

Don't we all just want to impress everybody out there and shut everyone's mouths. Don't we all wish to be the 'perfect' humans who have got everything covered? 

Why do I think that you'll agree with what's written above for some time and then go back to what you were doing previously?

Oh well!

Other's - Help

This is an opinion (just like everything on this space)

There are a lot of "Self-Help" books being written around and it has turned into a full-fledged genre of writing for a lot of people who have great advices, stories and anecdotes to narrate. The problem however, is that the genre has very quickly become saturated and overhyped with everything being generalized and that too in such a way that every self-help books sounds & looks the same at the surface level; sometimes even at the deeper levels of the texts.

Self help has gone far from being a 'getting to know yourself' kind and this shift in perspective of writing makes no sense whatsoever because the genre that was supposed to set itself apart from other genres and was supposed to be a huge middle finger to all the novels/novellas for being stereotypical and monotonous in their approach and now these self help books have itself turned into something of a staple advice, sure-shot insecurity hitting, money making machine of books. The way people talk about it is what drives me nuts further regarding these books because people behave as if the book has all the answers they were looking for and how the advices in the book(s) has changed their way of thinking, living, hell, even breathing for god's sake! At first I thought that the people who mindlessly wrote these books are nuts, but as I unravel further, I realized that the people who bought into the same bullshit through numerous titles are even bigger nutjobs from up there.

That's why, I've decided that I want to write and start a genre called "Other's Help" which can serve as a segment for books that talk about how to help others, because that's one of the main reasons why self-help books became popular, right? So that we can gain enough knowledge about humans and help our fellow humans? Now, I'm just cutting the middleman out and starting a genre in itself that talks about helping other people! Do we or do we not feel like helping other people out when we start reading any kind of self-help books? So, how about we just learn about how to help other people instead of going round in a circle, talking about discovering ourselves first and helping people out later, because we clearly aren't interested or excited about knowing more about ourselves (because if we did, we'd be way better than what we think we are right now)

All I'm saying is that this could turn out to be like a mini revolution in itself, right? To write something that is specifically aimed at making us understand how to help other people because a lot of dimwits are anyways knee deep into other people's business, so might as well give them something that makes their snooping around fruitful. Win - Win, right?

That personal tragedy

A poem by Samyak Shah

Driven by fear
By the people near
Packing up extra strong
For the beating to come

Callous and careless
Now the image isn't spotless
Strangled by my belonging
That's running around the neck

Negativity spikes
Hallelujah, Yikes!
Had it coming on you
Even if its not on their mind

The great feat
Of a great beat
Comes after the bruise
While the attacked cruise

Rightly had it here
Yet my death ain't so near
'coz tortures the lane
On which the world likes to drive

Even if I apologize
They'll still demonize
Saying I'll remain a cheat
Despite the bows and the touched feet

Probably sadistic
The world's animalistic
Taking both the sides
For the advantageous rides

Not being a victim
In the one-sided system
While the voice echoes wrong
Accusations roar like the bloody king kong

Yeah they're special
'coz they're a filled vessel
While the spills don't interrupt
Their filling streak

We get it that you're loved a lot
Kinda like a female Instagram thot
For no good reason the case is open
Justice gets served and the bones broken

Isn't equality meant for both sides
Where's that gone amidst your victim strides
Okay I get it I made a mistake
For how long for forgiveness will I beg?

It's from actions not words is what you said
Au contraire mon frere you walked into a trap that you only laid
Welcome to your tape 'coz hubba you're screwed
Congratulations, 'coz the score's now a deuce

New year, New me?

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living because regret is stronger than gratitude”

- Anne Frank

I firmly believe that the world might just be beginning to fix itself from the issue that it has been long suffering. The issue of “The ‘Should have’s and The ‘Could have’s”

‘Should have’s and ‘Could have’s

A lifestyle, a way of living that is filled and fueled with regret, hope of vindication & redemption, turning our lives into the kind of lives we’ve grown up watching in movies wherein everybody around you doubts you and you prove them wrong and show them their place and everyone begins to feel guilty for having mocked you and underestimated your skills and what not.

That’s not how the world works apparently.

Alright, I’m here to break your bubble and inform you without even an iota of inconvenience that we cannot always get our way with everything and no matter how butthurt you feel, it ain’t gonna change just to massage your ego.

This is the perfect time for you to begin bringing in the change as you’re anyways parading the whole ‘New year New me’ hype train.

So, this year…

I dare you to not second-guess yourself

I dare you to hold your own self accountable for the things you have in your control

I dare you to live one day without worrying too much about the future or the past

I dare you to not guilt yourself every single second!

I dare you to begin working on your ‘I wish's and  'I could’s

And more than anything,

I dare you ‘To begin living in 2020’ 

(refers to our constant need of staying stuck and to keep on re-living our past mistakes and then feeling guilty and hung up because we feel that if we do not show the world we’re still sad about it, someone or the other is going to see that and is going to make us feel bad about it by reminding us and insulting us with this sentence: ‘So you don’t even feel bad about what you did? Maybe that’s because you it never truly mattered to you, did it?’)