Know yourself

I am a second year Bachelor’s degree student who is (more or less) struggling to prove himself (because that’s what all our lives are about: What have you done?).

I frequently sit down with my brother and sister for talks (which we affectionately like to call counselling sessions) because I put forward all my doubts, troubles, problems and questions which then we together try and solve. For the first few times, it had been amazingly beneficial because I realized ke in what all places was I not giving my 100%. I slowly started moving towards improving myself and then slowly, I realized that I wasn’t actually improving, I was actually just trying to please my brother and sister (my whole family for that matter) because whatever I was working on was something that they had recommended. I hadn’t chosen what all I wanted to work on, they had advised that I CAN improve in these XYZ areas and I mistakenly had considered only those areas. Now, you all may have heard the saying ‘KNOW YOURSELF AND YOU SHALL KNOW THE WORLD’ and that’s when it hit me: I don’t necessarily need to talk to them if I can just ask myself certain questions, then it is quite possible that I can come up with a lot of answers.

Thus; I started to confront myself and I realized that I was capable of answering and revealing my deepest fears, regrets, dreams and goals to myself. I wasn’t afraid of myself anymore. I powered myself. Once I began to know myself, I realized what all I had been missing out on. I truly started enjoying life like an 19 year old boy should. And then I realized that I was indeed special because I was no more afraid to speak and act my heart out, I wasn’t afraid about the consequences, all I ever cared about is ‘whether I had given my 100% or not?’ and ‘whether I had enjoyed doing it or not?’. I shed all my previous masks and lives I had surrounded myself with. I finally became capable of doing what I wanted to and what I always thought of, and now I did it without a fear in this world (although in certain places and incidents I do need consent).

What I want you all to do is ask yourself certain questions:

1. Who am I? (answer this without using any examples of specific people in your life)

2. What do I want? (do not write: I want money or I want to get rich [that is a by-product], write what you’d like to do or what you’d like to possess when you have reached a certain age in life)

3. What are your triggers? (can be anything: what things you fear or what aspects make want to scream?)

4. List down all your achievements (anything that is notable enough, like: any national or state level competitions you’ve won etc.)

5. Who are THEY? (list down all sorts of aspects [including people or groups of people] who have an indirect control on how you behave)

6. What is it that I truly want for yourself in life?

7. What exactly do I want to do? (make a career or life from what you love to do. Example: Loving your S.O. is good but you can’t make a career out of it.)

8. What is it that makes me happy? (include the names of places, experiences, people etc. that make you happy)

Answer this questions, ask yourself all these questions and if done wholeheartedly and with complete honesty, you’ll realize that you’re actually happy and all the masks you carry will drop and you’ll meet your true self. Do not be afraid of anything that happens during this journey of self discovery. You may cry, you may want to kill someone, but remember that at the end of this journey is true happiness. Once you know yourself or start to get to know yourself, you’ll see what a beautiful life it is.

- Samyak Shah