Human exchanges, I guess...

(if you cannot handle, understand and appreciate sarcasm, this post isn't for you)

- Your behaviour always has to be modified based on my mood without me having to tell you what I'm feeling like because I'll take your lack of awareness and you not knowing as a personal insult and I will make sure you regret your existence for having missed out impressing me this time

- You have to be transparent with me because it is not okay to hide anything from others, but please don't cry when you find out that I've hidden things from you, because if you aren't already aware, then let me tell you that this is how being an adult works in the real life

- I will express my love as and when I feel like, but you have to love me (or better yet, worship me) regardless (since I might be your backup in all cases until who knows how long) because that's what good people do! I can choose to love you or not love you when I want, but you're not supposed to have that right or choice

- You must deal with the problems that adults have, but you still have no rights whatsoever (You have to do the things that you aren't supposed to be doing alone to prove that you're all grown up, but don't you dare think that doing these things is going to earn you the freedom to be independent because I will still expect you to play by my rules even though there is no need for anyone else but me to do that)

- Of course I will cheer you up as and when I feel it's important and appropriate to, but what you have to realize is that the world population is soaring high every single day, so despite everything, please remember that you have to put your best foot forward, without the guarantee of knowing where you stand, and not to forget that you're competing with thousands of other people

- Yes, I want you to trust me enough to think and believe (I am) and I can be, your safe space to share everything you want to let out, but don't be surprised if I start to make fun of those things because that is the unsaid part of the deal where being a safe space earns me the right to make fun of you with you having no right to oppose me for having made fun of you. Don't you dare say you're offended, because I expect and command you to not get offended unless and until I tell you that it's appropriate for you to get offended

- Remember: Your success is our success, but your failure is your failure

- I get to decide on behalf of both us whether or not you should be anywhere near us for too long, but don't forget the part where you still have to be at our beck and call

- Do other people a favour without them asking, and then you act as if you're god-sent for having helped them and make sure that they know: It is rude to decline the favour/help, but also, it is equally horrible if you're not showing your gratitude to them for helping; doesn't matter whether you asked for it or not