Better soch na

A write up by Samyak Shah

It's that time of the (new) year again where everyone's going to be excited about 'changing their lives', when their external motivation is going to be reaching new highs and the adrenaline inside them will charge them up for seeing their future self as a better version of their present self. But.... 5 days later, many will be back to their same old routine.

'Kyu roshni tu bahar talaashe, teri mashaale hai andar tere' - Besabriyaan, M.S. Dhoni - The Untold Story (2016)

The lines roughly translate to: Why are you trying to find the light outside, when you have a torch gleaming inside you

So, here are my top 5 common resolutions that need nothing but a new perspective, and people will be able to see better of it and follow it if they'd want to:

1. "I am going to go to the gym every single day this year"

- Listen, nobody cares if you go to the gym every single day, because if you go the gym and at the same time have no control over your eating habits, shit's going to stay the same: the calories you shed off, you'll gain back by eating. Also, the reason why gyming became popular is because it's a place to stay healthy and have some active hours, so strive to become healthier and more active than previous years. You may not move mountains from Day 1, start off with a few bricks at a time first.

2. "I will stop caring what people think about me"

- Well, I'm happy that people have understood that people's actions can't be stopped, so we have to stop or change our reactions. But what new trend is this? I understand that things when said out loud have a better impact, but that doesn't mean it should be dumbed down to this level. How about if we stop expecting the fact that we have to not care about people? We've heard that expectations are painful, so what if we stop expecting ourselves to be ignorant of other people's BS. As counterintuitive as it sounds, it makes sense to let the thing go over your head rather than trying to stop it from going inside your head.

3. "Iss saal toh phhod daalunga" (I will crush it this year) (no double meanings here)

- The people who start off at a high saying they're going to crush their goals and what not is good, actually more than good, but what one needs to see is what exactly is pushing them to achieve something, because if it's some external gain, the person is surely to lose interest in their work once they've gained the tangible result. Strive to become better at what you're doing and ask yourself whether it is something that you truly want to do, or whether it's something that you absolutely need to do (there's a clear difference of ideology here, just saying)

4. "I will quit (insert habit) this year"

- Said it out loud? Great! Truly mean it? Even better! So, I'll rather support this resolution and make it stronger by adding in the fact that this one requires improvements and changes in the daily routine of the individual and a strong self-control, and more often than not, the person will be able to succeed in quitting whatsoever habit that they want to

5. "I will stop procrastinating"

- Fun fact: Procrastination in itself is not bad, but if you don't have the kahones to catch up with the remaining work you'll be much better off by scheduling, planning and prioritizing your activities. Don't cut out relaxation, because relaxing in itself is not bad, it's bad when it begins to interfere with your daily routine and makes you lazier because of something or the other.

Here's hoping for better dreams and better efforts! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

FAIR-WEATHER FRIEND

A write-up by Samyak Shah

Fair-weather friend (adj.) A person who changes loyalty based on whether or not something is succeeding; often used to describe change of stances to go with the current popular sentiment or someone who wavers on their opinions.

"What we often forget is that all that we know is not all that there is"

The world exists outside the world of black and white because the categorizations are the extremes in a world that is majoring in averages. Talking about 'grey' brings forth the highlight that is 'living in the era of easy access and scrutiny' where the pressure of maintaining one particular stance is paramount because everybody assumes that what one says is what they'll keep saying forever, which is far from the truth, but because 'reputation' is to be taken care of, many fall into the trap of following their words sometimes just for the sake of it. 

Collectively, it seems that we have forgotten to differentiate between something that is wrong and something that is bottomline unacceptable. There seems to be a decline in the existence of the concept of 'grey area' with its position being snatched away by a seemingly negative-impressioned 'hypocrisy'. 

What if I told you that it's okay to take back your words and still be considered as a responsible individual in the eyes of others, and more importantly, in your own eyes? What? Sounds unreal to you? Why? Ah! I see; where's that validation, sympathy and most importantly the fear of getting bashed publicly and backlash for going back on your words. It seems that the binary ideology took you too far in your over-thinking, with additional credits to mob justice and approval stamp for 'stepping back' being \considered a crime of some sort now. You're neither fully guilty, nor fully innocent, you're somewhere in the middle because you screwed up and so did others; it's just that not everyone has the kahones to admit 'I believe that I no longer support what I previously used to, so I'm taking the words back. No harsh feelings' and why would anyone have the kahones, when despite actions being louder than words, your words are twisted into a trap for you. 

What if I told you that it's okay to be believing and supporting both sides of the arguments equally and being that fair-weather friend, there's nothing obviously wrong in it since everyone would love to be on the winning side, and also because it saves you the pain of explaining why you might be opposing something. Convenient, right? Almost! That's because fair-weather friends aren't exactly respected (for obvious reasons but) majorly because they seem to be unreliable as they switch sides at the drop of the hat, but in a time where the lines between extremes is getting blurred, what's the harm if a person believes in the ideology of both sides and chooses to stay where (s)he finds it better? NO! Not permissible because what's a person that doesn't face the consequences of their actions, right? Most certainly, and that is what brings it to a point where one needs to ask: What if one doesn't take a significant action? Reaction is what makes consequences and a reaction is in response to the action, so what if action itself is not taken, keeping in mind that consequences may/may not be favourable? Escapist much? 

There's always more than meets the eye, but what if there's a refusal to see what's hidden? 

"Curiosity killed the cat or probably just lack of interest and attention did, who's to know? Accept what you feel is right, everyone's truth is different" 

      

Working for love

A post by Samyak Shah

Since the time we were young, more or less, we've been made to work for every single thing that we have in life. No, there's nothing wrong with it because it is in a sense teaching us that many things in life are supposed to be 'earned' as they're either in scarcity or are just too damn expensive to be given just like that as a reward for a small activity/chore.

What they actually mean is: The world is not generous every single time and many a times, you'll have to toil day in and day out to get something that you want.

However, because a huge majority doesn't 'want to hurt others by telling them the truth in a harsh manner or getting the true intentions of providing something out in the open', they resort to reading between the lines and objective & reward based techniques to pass on information or impart knowledge which, though not completely wrong but, is most certainly a mindf*ck.

My point is: Love is something that every individual desires, it is something that every individual needs, it is sometimes essential and most importantly, it needs to be given and it is needed to be felt by everyone.

There shouldn't be this gap between receiving and giving which needs to be filled with work because if we're saying that one needs to work to get love that they desire, they have to do something that they don't want to but have to because we want them to and because we possess the one thing that they require, and that's only fair going by the standard logic of demand and supply.

Beginning from the childhood itself, parents have been conditioning children to behave the way they want them to by bribing and manipulating them with something or the other that they know the kid loves, and they're made to sometimes do things they would not otherwise do because they want the reward without always realizing that they're being manipulated and the cycle is settling in their brains that to give someone the love they want, they have to do something that you want them to.

Sometimes, I agree that, manipulation is needed to make sure the child does something that is seemingly essential for them, but luring them with something they love to make them do something is not always the way to go and it has to be understood irrespective of the general logic of demand and supply.

A person cannot and should not be stripped off of something so vital and essential for one's mental and physical well-being because a person devoid of love, or someone who is set in the cycle that in order for them to get the love they want they have to do things the giver wants them to do, might just become a machine in the figurative and borderline literal sense.

The reward-punishment system that is set in place for conditioning still works fine if done with a purpose of well-being, and destroying someone psychologically so that they obey one's orders without question is not a purpose to tomtom.

To everyone out there working so that you get a reward and that reward earns you someone's love, it's not love. That's a transaction. You're providing an investment and they're providing a service for your investment.

Creepiness

A post by Samyak Shah

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As much as we'd like to talk to one another and form what we presume to be a 'harmonious' human chain of communication and affection, there seems to be one trouble that a lot of us go through and put others through as well. 

What's that you ask? 

Creepiness 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the one to judge anybody on a creepiness scale because I (unlike a few idiots) know that everybody's perception of what's normal is different which is what everybody should be realising and accepting consciously and not just superficially. 

Let me tell you what my overthinking brain sprung up with when I began to think about what exactly categorizing someone as a 'creep' meant: Every person's creepy bar is set by their own selves based on the experiences they've had and the one's they've heard which forms (or conditions, scientifically speaking) what is called an impression or an image of what exactly something is like, which more or less influences how we're going to perceive it as! 

Put in simpler words: One thing/person is creepy for an individual and is not for another, and that's completely reliant on how the person has been brought up and what sort of perspectives are fed/how perspectives are manipulated in his/her life

Food for thought: There's a difference between someone feeling creepy for personal reasons as opposed to feeling creepy for the sake of not ruining your impression in a social setting because more often than not, creepiness is caused faster when a social setting is kept in mind as opposed to seeing somebody as an individual just like us...

मर्दाना

A poem by Samyak Shah

नहीं आती करनी लड़ाई

और ना है मेरे इस डर का ठिकाना

तोह

लोगों के लिए, मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

नहीं बदल सकता गाड़ी के टायर

ना आता है हर बात पे सख्ती दिखाना

तभी शायद

लोगों के लिए, मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

आता है कई बातों पर रोना

पर खुल के रो भी नहीं सकता 

क्यूंकि क्या कहेगा ज़माना

की 

मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

ना है 16 का डोला 

ना है 56 की छाती

पर क्योंकि नहीं चाहता घर के बर्तनों को खड़काना

लोगों ने कहा, मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

समय को हम बदल दिए

तौर-तरीके भी बदल दिए

पर सोच को हमने बदला ना

तभी कह रहे है
लोगों के लिए, मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

लोगों के लिए, मैं नहीं हूँ मर्दाना

Special Someone...

A write-up by Samyak Shah 

So, do we all not have people in our lives? Rather, do we all not have that one special someone in our lives? Most of us do. That is because we're never truly lonely, and if we're believing in that, then what's the harm in having one person specifically dedicated to us, right?

But, I'm not talking the special someone who is your partner, friend, squeeze or anything; because where I'm getting at is that one special someone who is not really a special someone but is a shape shifting entity of our lives.

The entity that everybody has, the entity that most of us know and acknowledge; the entity that comes in the form of your partner, friend, cousin, even helping staff for that matter.
In fact, you'll be surprised when I tell you that it's you who many a times has welcomed this entity with open arms in your life.

The shape shifting entity, who usually takes the form of the special someone (because you can't seem to live without that) is NEGATIVITY 

We all are very welcoming of everything, until we're stabbed right when we thought everything's right, and this is when we begin to close up. It is not bad, it is natural for us to close up, but the question we need to ask is: To which people will we be open to, then?

Negativity can enter your life in any shape and form because we hate to be alone, and most of the times, it will always creep in using the medium which is liked the most by us.

That explains why the people whom we love hurt us, right?

We have always been told to look at all the sides and then make a decision, but neither do we have so much time nor do we have the required patience, and negativity takes advantage of that buffer time to get into our lives.
Unconsciously, sometimes Consciously, we have made negativity a part of lives because we cannot even fathom the things that it can resort to because negativity doesn't have a moral code. We all are weighed down by that special someone because what they manifest is not what they mean to, but it still gets to us.

Nobody is alone, and there is nobody that does not have this special someone in their lives

So what's the harm in having one person dedicated to us?

Do you know who I am?

A write-up by Samyak Shah

To: Whomsoever it may concern

Subject: A letter from the kid who people think doesn’t understand the struggle of the real world

So, I heard that you guys are having some struggle with getting the opportunities despite being the deserving candidates? I unfortunately can’t do shit about it, because in this race of hare and tortoise, the hare sleeps only after he knows he has crossed the finish line, because I know that announcing your win before winning is for the fools and the ones who still believe in this 4-letter word called HOPE.

You’ll hate me, you have, in the past, and some of you still will in the future.

Today, I’m here to tell you that I’m not much different than you guys, because even in the fairyland, one has to struggle. Everywhere, there is a competition and everywhere it seems that the grass is greener (IYKWIM) on the other side.

I understand that my being spoilt and rich has made you face the consequences like losing the game where you were the clear winner, but I want to tell you that this is not what I intended.

I do not want to have all this power and riches just because my parents said ‘My kid won’t see the things I’ve seen and he won’t have to struggle the way I did’ and guess what; staying true to their promise, they have always made sure that I got what I wanted and I’m helpless here, because I ask for something simple and I get the best in that, WHY? Because my parents wish the best for me and want me to be happy. Is that wrong? YES, because in making me happy, someone else is planning on killing me for stealing what (s)he wanted to have.

Also, it is not that I have not worked hard, but because I had so much support and headstart, that even my efforts felt worthless. But that didn’t mean I did not put in efforts, right? I know you must be really angry thinking ‘Oh, did the rich boy not have enough comfort in everything?’ and I completely understand why you might feel that.

I’d like to take this moment and tell you a little personal anecdote so that I can diminish the difference between you and me.

Sometimes, I think my brother feels bad because I got the opportunities that I didn’t utilise like he’d have; while there he is, trying to make head and tail out of several nothings, and yet always smiling. The respect everyone has for him is because he has worked hard for everything that he has in his life, and even I respect him for being the way he is. But one look at how he looked at me, and I realised that I’m the fairy to his commoner, because I felt that I lived the life he deserved, and just because his family wasn’t as understanding as mine was, he never got to the level where he could’ve been able to rule the world if he wanted. He makes use of whatever he gets and seizes every opportunity, small or big, while here I am, crying like a child for having my toy broken (not exactly though, I’m using this comparison to make you guys understand properly).

That’s not the case all of the times though, because he clearly instructed me that he made grave mistakes that he didn’t want me to make. Not only did I realise that I had gotten more chances than he did, but also that I’ve been way more of a diva than I could ever imagine.

Every time I failed, I kept falling more and more in my own eyes.

Respect lost in other’s eye can be gained with some efforts, but getting the respect back for yourself in your own eyes, is really difficult.

I always wanted to be like him from the eyes of how people saw him, until I realised how he saw me. I know that I was comparing my life with someone else’s but there was nothing I could do.

The fact that I had fallen in my own eyes, is what led on the guilt of being rich and still being a failure in utilizing opportunities

I hated myself for being rich, because this is not what I expected when I thought of a rich person.

So now, it seems that you and I are not so different; after all, you are battling to come to my position, while I compete to stay where I am and try to reduce the guilt.

That’s all for now.

Yours truly (whether you want it or not)

Just another kid trying to make an impact

Just like you

A poem by Samyak Shah 

I’m living, just like you are

I’m scared, just like you are

I fear getting beaten, just like you do

I fear being hated, just like you do

I want to be loved, just like you are

I want to be appreciated, just like you are

I fear not giving my best, just like you do

I fear having regret, just like you do

I’m ugly sometimes, just like you are

I’m looking for a place to hide, just like you are

I fear being blamed for something I didn’t do, just like you do

I fear scaring people with my ugliness, just like you do

I want to be respect, just like you are

I want to be successful, just like you are

I fear offending people, just like you do

I fear losing connections, just like you do

I’m hopeless sometimes, just like you are

 I’m emotional sometimes, just like you are

I fear not seeing the world’s grey shades, just like you do

I fear not knowing who’s truly by my side, just like you do

I’m afraid to not have lived to my fullest, just like you are

I’m scared I might waste my life behind trivia, just like you are

I want to love people and give everything I’ve got, just like you do

I’m scared whether they’ll accept me or not, just like you do